Don't be a petal-picker

[Plucks flower petal] “He loves me…”
[Plucks another petal] “He loves me not…”
[Plucks flower petal] “He loves me…”

If only making decisions were as easy as plucking flower petals.

Wouldn’t it be nice if when we were faced with a tough choice, all we had to do was pluck a random number of petals or catch a tiger by his toe?

Waiting for ultimate certainty is a myth. The most meaningful decisions require us to act even when we don't have all the answers or petals to pull off a rose.

I face indecision and inaction in my own life all the time. I notice it particularly when I want to make a purchase. It doesn't matter if it is a new supplement, an espresso machine, a beach chair, or an airplane carry on, I’ll research for weeks (these are all real, recent examples, btw). I'll read 20 articles to find the best one at the best price, which isn't necessarily a bad idea, but it struck me that I can spend hours researching the "perfect" purchase, weighing every pro and con until sometimes, I do absolutely nothing.

How often do we apply that same meticulousness to the things that really matter?

How long does it take you to decide what to order at a restaurant? Are you the kind of person that mulls over the menu and asks the server "just a few more minutes" three times before you can decide? Do you have all these ideas that you never act on? Do you think of 15 ways to make additional income but never actually pursue any of them? Or maybe you go back and forth about changing careers or moving or getting into a relationship because you just don't feel ready?

What are you waiting for?

The Myth of "Ready"

Here’s the truth : You will never feel 100% ready. It will never be the "perfect" time to quit your job, get married, have a baby, take that trip, or make that leap of faith. Waiting for readiness is just another, more dangerous form, of procrastination.

As Seneca wrote, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Creative and successful people act on their inspiration, their intuition, and their ideas more often than they wait on them. I was reading an article on the habits of successful people. One of the cited interviewees, a successful businessman, highlighted that the reason he is so successful is because by the time the other guy has made his first action, he's already tried, failed, and reiterated multiple times.

He acts before everything is thought through, before everything lines up, and before it makes sense to act.

This isn't to say that we should act impulsively and irrationally. 

Thoughtfulness and mindfulness are crucial, because our decisions have real implications. I mean, don't go buy a million dollar yacht while you're working at Starbucks. But there is merit to acknowledging when we are just waiting to feel “ready.”

The Science of Decisiveness

So, how do we break free from this paralysis? The good news is that decisiveness is a skill and any skill can be cultivated. I call it shortening the distance between inspiration and action, and the more we practice it, the more attuned we are to making decisions more effectively. All it takes is a little conscious action.

Here are a few tips backed by behavioral psychology to help you move into action quicker:

1. Reduce the Stakes: When facing a choice, remind yourself of the minimal downside and maximum upside of each choice. What is the cost of doing nothing verses what is the cost of doing something?

2. Embrace Imperfection: One of my favorite quotes ever is, “Stop trying to make the right decision and focus on making the decision right.” There is no real way to know what is going to happen after making a big decision, no matter what we tell ourselves. When we know this going in, though, we make the decision from the mindset that it is just jumping to the next rock. Whatever you choose, accept the outcome and move forward.

3. Set a Decision Deadline: Giving ourselves rigid deadlines can force the procrasination brain into overdrive. Whether it is giving yourself 5 minutes to decide on what to eat at a restaurant, or 3 days to decide on that new job, set a realistic and achievable timeline and stick to it.

4. Trust Your Gut: I think one of the hardest skills is to trust yourself. We are marred by our perceived failures such that we forget the successes. Focus on how your past decisions and actions have lead to your current success.

5. Start Small: Practice making quick decisions in low-stakes situations. This builds confidence to make big decisions in high stakes situations. Or, lower make the decision pool smaller. It’s a lot easier to decide between two options than 20. Narrow your decision scope to only include what is manageable.

The Comfort Trap

We are conditioned towards safety and comfort. Many of us are conditioned into a severe case of engrained risk-aversion. The fear of the unknown keeps us stuck in familiar patterns, even if they are no longer satisfying. We don't try new foods when we go out to restaurants because we're afraid we won't like it and we'll waste our money. We don't take a different route to work because at least on this road, we know how long it will take. We don't plan that trip we really want to go on because money is tight right now.

We are primed for safety, security, and a life of mindless ease. We want to float down the lazy river of life in our safe floatee until we're ready to get out at a ripe old age of 85.

The reality is that life is not a lazy river you can lackadaisically ride. Life is inherently full of twists, turns, and the occasional wave that flips us out of our seat. People who are successful at cultivating meaningful experiences in their lives achieve it not by waiting until the air feels just right to step out of the hot tub. They brace themselves for the cold, stand up, and get a move on while others sit and prune.

My Leap of Faith

I understand this firsthand. I quit my job without substantial savings and nothing coming in to replace my paycheck (yet). I quit when I was coming over a peak in my career, poised to take the next ascent. I quit when it didn't make sense because I trust myself deeply enough to know that I have the skill sets and tools to actualize the vision I have for my life. If you're waiting for that moment where everything feels just right, stop.

That's what the Uninterrupted Life is all about - acting in accordance with our spirit, not what everyone else says we should do. It's about jumping into taking charge of your life, whatever that means for you, and living each day fully, authentically, and unapologetically. The Uninterrupted Life is about realizing our fullest potentials and maximizing our time on this planet. As Eckhart Tolle wrote, "You are the Universe expressing itself as a human for a little while."

The Universe is waiting on you to realize that.

What if we stopped waiting to embrace it?

The uninterrupted life is just that: uninterrupted. We don't wait for the stars to align or when we feel ready. We act on our inspirations, uninterrupted by our mental roadblocks. To quote one of my favorite musicals, Hadestown:

“The dog you really got to dread
is the one that howls inside your head.
It’s him whose howling drives men mad
and a mind to its undoing.”

The mind tells us many stories, but don’t let it tell you that you’re not “ready” to start living your uninterrupted life.

Ready to Embrace the Uninterrupted Life?

If you're ready to act, to step out of the comfort of the lazy river and ride a more exciting ride, I'm here to help guide you. I’m discovering it for myself every day, and I want to help you do the same.

I know from firsthand experience how scary it can feel to take that first step. I remember feeling lost and confused and wishing I could find clarity on where I really wanted to move my life. That’s why I developed the Wellness Accelerator – to be the tool I wish I'd had. This unique wellness profile assessment is intentionally designed to give you insight into your balance of wellness, uncover the areas of your life where you want to see transformation, and begin the process of demystifying the path to your uninterrupted life.

I am currently looking for a few more beta testers for the tool. In exchange for your feedback, you will receive early access to the Wellness Accelerator for FREE. Your feedback will help me improve this assessment so it gives participants the most accurate and meaningful insights possible.

If you are interested in beta testing the Wellness Accelerator, fill out this Application!

Until next time, live uninterrupted.

~Coleman