Red Light Realizations

Do you ever feel frustrated at red lights?

I live in an area with notoriously terrible traffic. I'm talking, my commute to work can range from 23 minutes to a solid hour and a half, all depending on traffic and some infuriatingly long red lights. Some of them seem purposefully awful, I’m convinced.

Red lights can be frustrating when you're in a rush, or running late (I’m often both), but sometimes they become a momentary gift. A second to be free of the wheel. A chance to check your route, grab something from the glove box, or to reach around and smack the annoying kid sitting in the back. All in all, as frustrating as they can be sometimes, red lights serve a very important purpose, helping to keep our society just a little more organized, and a lot safer.

Finding Your Way When Life Feels Like a Red Light

But what about when life itself feels like a never-ending string of red lights? Whether we're launching a new business, navigating a challenging situation, or simply unsure of what to do next, we all feel a little lost sometimes. Speaking as a young professional, life has felt like a maze so far! Chasing shifting career goals, juggling an ever-growing list of responsibilities, and trying to be a "functional adult" (whatever that means) can feel overwhelming. Add to that the curveball of completely changing my career trajectory at 29, and suddenly I feel like I'm in the Triwizard Maze (for all of my Harry Potter fans).

During these times, when the tempest of uncertainty rages, it's easy to lose sight of what truly matters while we're adrift in confusion. And trust me, this feeling is more common than you think, no matter your age or stage of life.

When we're caught in this limbo, what we need most is a reminder of our North Star – our guiding light, our purpose, and our direction. We need to check the map.

Whenever I need to recalibrate, I ask myself these three simple questions:

1. Where am I now?

2. Where do I want to be?

3. What's in between those two points?

It really is that simple.

Let me break it down:

1. Where Am I Now?

This question can be broken down further, depending on your situation. Take a comprehensive inventory of your current state. How's your health? What's your self-image? How satisfied are you with your career? How are your relationships? Jot down as many details about your present circumstances as possible – you never know what insights might emerge.

This simple yet powerful exercise grounds you in the present moment, allowing you to carefully examine and become consciously aware of where you stand. This leads us to the most important question about where we are right now:

What are my core values?

Before charting any course, you need to know what truly matters to you. Are you driven by creativity, connection, impact, financial freedom, security, or adventure? What aspects of your life make you feel a sense of purpose, like you're contributing positively to something larger than yourself? List three to five core values or guiding principles. These values are the bedrock upon which you will build.

Action Step: Grab a notebook and reflect on the last time you felt truly alive and fulfilled. What was happening? Who were you with? What values were most present in that moment? What specifically brought you that feeling of aliveness? Highlighting these moments where we are consciously aware of our emotional state helps us to extrapolate commonalities and watch for universal guiding ideas to emerge.

2. Where Do I Want To Be?

Now that you have a clearer sense of where you are, let's look ahead. Keep that notebook open and start brainstorming all the areas of your life where you want to see improvement or change. Where are you yearning to grow, expand, or evolve?

Do you want more financial security? A different house or car? An entirely new career? Maybe you simply crave more time for relaxation, fewer obligations on your calendar, or a deeper connection with your passions.

Write down everything that comes to mind, even if it seems a bit silly or outlandish. Want to live in a castle? Write it down! These are important data points that help you locate your guiding stars.

Once you've filled the page, read back over your list to sift through and gauge your gut reaction. Circle the top ten items that resonate most strongly with you – the ones that feel almost magnetically appealing. From those ten, identify the top three that call to you the loudest. Don't cop out and say it 's a tie! Really consider them, rank them, and write down your top three. These are your North Stars.

This doesn't mean the others aren't important, but remember: Rome wasn't built in a day, nor are fulfilling lives. We can't chase every goal at once – our best strategy is to narrow our scope and focus our energy in targeted directions.

If you're struggling, or find yourself getting stuck, reframe the question like this: What activities make you lose all track of time? What are you doing when time seems to simply evaporate? This might help you unlock some areas of your life where you already find deep satisfaction and fulfillment.

3. What Lies Between Those Two Points?

Now comes the art of bringing it all together. Looking at your lists of where you are now and where you want to be, write out the tangible differences between relevant points.

For example, if one of your top three "Where I Want to Be" goals is to weigh 180 lbs, but you currently weigh 192 lbs, then write down the difference: a 12 lbs. Do this for each of your top three goals: clearly identify where you are now, and what tangible differences separate that from your desired future self.

By becoming consciously aware of the gap, you demystify the map. Now you know where you are, a clearer sense of a general direction to move, lights in the distance to move towards.

This thought process helps you identify and set the right goals and establish the right habits to achieve what you desire. Goal-setting is an entirely separate topic, one that we'll explore in a future newsletter. For risk of stating the obvious, goals are meaningless without action, and the next step is to determine which actions will help accomplish a goal. While that is still part of a separate conversation (or multiple!), a simple framework to start with is to answer this question:

What is one small action I can take for myself every single day that moves me closer to that point?

You won't always know exactly which steps to take, but you must at least consistently move in the right direction. Small, consistent actions compound over time, and you'll never truly be aware of their impact until you turn around and admire how far you've come. Stagnation is the enemy of progress, and moving in any direction gives us more helpful information than standing still.

Recalibrating When Life Throws You a Curveball

And, while all that is well and good, here's the thing: Sometimes it all changes. Sometimes our lives take unexpected turns, or reroute altogether. No road leads perfectly straight forever. Even the infamous I-75 has a beginning and an end, even if its journey through the state of Georgia feels endless. Roads can lead to dead ends, take sharp corners, get renamed, and sometimes we have to get off the road altogether.

When you get to those unexpected life intersections, checking in with your internal GPS is the only way to know which direction to turn. It takes time, practice, and patience, but learning how to drive your own life is infinitely better than sitting passively in the passenger seat, trusting someone else to steer. This is at the core of what The Uninterrupted Life represents – taking ownership and living intentionally.

Yes, green lights are great. They get us to our destinations faster, and we all want as many consecutive green lights as we can get. But when we hit a red light, it's not necessarily a bad thing or a source of frustration or a headache. See it as an opportunity to check in with yourself. It's always better to make a U-turn than run out of gas on the highway, or realize you arrive at a destination you never intended.

Can you imagine a world without red lights? It would be utter chaos.

Want to live your uninterrupted life with purpose and direction? I'm opening up a limited number of consultation slots soon where we go over this exact process and unlock the keys to living your best life! If you're interested in exploring how these principles can help you take ownership of your journey, stay tuned for details.

Until next time, live uninterrupted.

~ Coleman