The Enemy is Fine

One of my mantras that you have probably heard me say if you've been around for a while (and you will definitely hear me say more if you are new) is that our lives are the stories we tell ourselves.

Have you ever felt like you were merely a character in someone else's narrative, or worse, a background player in your own life? The good news is this: You are not only the main character, but you are also the author.

When we choose to take up our pen and assume our role as author, producer, and actor, our first task is to critically examine the stories we've already been telling. By uncovering these stories, we gain the autonomy to decide if the narrative is helpful or hurtful; if it is one that leads us to the ideal version of ourselves or is blocking us from becoming them. As I delve deeper into the stories I tell myself, I find myself wrestling with the grandest narrative of all: my own.

Why am I here? What am I doing? What have I done?

And, perhaps most importantly, why should you care?

We often hear tales of triumph born from tragedy. If you listen to the story of Oprah Winfrey, Mel Robbins, Colonel Sanders (for my Kentucky friends), or any "underdog" who made it big, one hallmark of their story is tragedy. Author J.K. Rowling was down to her last dollar and had her manuscript rejected by several publishers before someone finally picked up on the genius that became Harry Potter. Abraham Lincoln ran for election half a dozen times before finally succeeding. Mel Robbins was battling depression and alcoholism before she turned her life around and now influences millions of listeners, watchers, and readers across the globe every day. On and on the hero's tales go. Their stories resonate with us because they highlight the power of resilience in the face of adversity, and frankly they’re more exciting. They inspire us to live our own hero’s tale.

But here's the thing: I don't have a tragedy.

In fact, I am acutely aware of how fortunate I've been. Did that mean it has been easy? No. Have I had my fair share of hard lessons learned? Absolutely. Even though I didn't grow up in a traditional nuclear family, I had a mother who selflessly devoted herself to her three boys (all of whom have given her more than a few headaches, sleepless nights, and gray hair) and worked tirelessly to give us the best life we could have. I went to good schools and learned from good teachers. And I built a life that was fine.

I've never been homeless, never had to beg for food. I enjoyed a decorated career as a high school music teacher, the artistic director of an outstanding community choir, and working alongside marvelous musicians as the associate director of music at a historic church that values quality music. I have been spared of any major tragedy or trauma thus far in my life, and every day I wake up grateful for such a gift that I am all too aware evades far too many.

I built a life that was fine.

I built a life that was fine.

And yet, my soul still yearned for more. I fundamentally changed when I awoke to the truth that my life is right here, right now. It’s not lurking in some distant future, but unfolding in this very moment. The truth is that we will only ever experience the now; we never truly experience the past or the future, and nothing is guaranteed. Our entire worldview can pivot in an instant, and our only responsibility is to the present moment.

"Fine" and "tolerate" are not the fullest expressions of our potential.

One of the primary reasons I started this business and embarked on this uncharted journey is because I felt the slow creep of tolerance. This is why I redefined my life's grand story and allowed myself to be more than just "fine."

How often do you make decisions that seem insignificant now, but come back to bite you later? It's just one cookie today, until the next thing you know, your jeans are too tight. It's just one drink today, and then you wake up with cirrhosis and an increased risk of dementia. It's just one workout missed today, and you wake up at 65 and have mobility impairments that keep you from experiencing your life.

Now, before you think I'm getting extreme, I'm not suggesting every decision carries existential weight. But when those decisions are made in numbed ambivalence, our future self pays the price. Just because it's "not that bad" doesn't mean you don't have permission to want more.

You don't have to hit rock bottom before you decide to change.

You can have a life free of significant trauma and still desire a better-lived experience. You can still crave deeper relationships, greater financial abundance, more free time, a more profound understanding of yourself and your place in the Universe, and to be a happier, healthier version of yourself. You are not a bad person for wanting more than "fine," and you shouldn't feel guilty for pursuing a more fulfilling existence. And, you don’t have to earn it through suffering.

This desire doesn't diminish the experience of others; in fact, it can inspire them. We must cultivate a practice of appropriate gratitude. "Want what you have so that you can have what you want."

We are grateful for the gifts we have received and are excited for the ones to come.

I created "fine" in my life, and that was fine.

But now I am using that experience to create more than fine. And I want to help you do the same.

Wellness Clarity Sessions

I am excited to announce my new Wellness Clarity Sessions! In these private, 60-minute calls, you will gain clarity on your vision for your life and develop tangible actions to take you there. My intent is to empower you to curate thoughts, patterns, and beliefs to gradually move you into your uninterrupted life: a life of purpose, passion, and unbridled joy. A key part of my Wellness Clarity Sessions is showing you how to recognize the false narratives tripping you up and rewriting your life's narrative.

If you are interested in uncovering some of the stories you are telling yourself and moving forward in your journey to a more fulfilling life, you can book a call here: https://stan.store/theUL

Until next time, live uninterrupted.

~Coleman